Yesterday, by the time I worked out some of the kinks in WordPress, I’d been too long in front of my computer and type a particular search engine into my browser that is the springboard into the vunderbar world of porn. I grab my bottle of poppers and I’m off to the races in no time flat.
Fortunately, it doesn’t lead me to the acting out side of town, a particular strip of road with 2 adult bookstores and where I’ve spent a great deal of time and money during my 5 and a half years here. No, this time it ends just about as fast as it starts.
I’m having a friend over for dinner and while I’m preparing the main course, a chicken and vegetable stew with multiple steps and specific timing requirements, I notice the after-effects of acting out. I’m aware that I’m impatient and irritable, 2 states incompatible with good cooking.
One of the recipe’s final steps is sautéing onions then adding flour to make a roux. Well, I impatiently and absent-mindedly add the flour at the same time I add the onions which instantly absorbs all the oil so the whole thing just dries up and starts burning in the pan. I’m upset and start cursing my stupidity because I should know better. At first I think, “fuck it, just add the pureed tomatoes and keep going.” Then I take a deep breath, relax my shoulders, and dump out the burnt flour and onions, clean the pot and start over.
I don’t know about you, but stress can quickly drive me into a masochistic state and instead of reading the caution signs and slowing down, I step on the gas. But this time, by grace, I slow down. And the result is an excellent chicken and vegetable stew!
Days & Hours of a Recovering Sex Addict 